Anniversaries, and the feeling that go with them

As I walk around my house, I am constantly reminded of the fact that my wife and I got married.  Not necessarily that we ARE married, but things to remind us of our wedding day.  Most recently while renovating our house, I came across my wife’s bouquet and the unity candle from our wedding.  Now I realize that a lot of you are probably saying to yourself, “Well yeah, why wouldn’t she want to remember her wedding day?”  My response to that is, “Have you met me?” Full disclosure, I have a bit of a self-esteem issue, so it’s kind of weird to me that someone so wonderful and beautiful would actually marry me, let alone want to be reminded of it.  I constantly tell her how lucky I am, and to be honest, I still am amazed she hasn’t woken up and realized she married a huge shmuck that I am. Actually, she would probably tell you that she knows I’m a shmuck and she loves me anyway.  That’s because she’s wonderful.

Tomorrow we will be married 12 years.  We’re not doing anything special, which is how we’ve spent the past 20 years ( the total that we’ve been together). Sure, we’ll celebrate, but it won’t be anything big. She’s cooking something special for us (because if I try I will undoubtedly screw it up and either A) Get upset and swear B) break something C) burn down the house D) give up or the most likely E) all of the above). Then we’ll have a dessert that she made and cap it off with a movie.  That’s our life in a nutshell.

I know I am not easy to live with.  I cut various appendages on table saws. I anger easily, I’m constantly on my phone. I’m impatient, I have bad habits. But throughout it all, she takes it in stride.  She is the perfect role model for our kids, and honestly for anyone’s kids. It’s probably why she’s friends with so many former students and players on Facebook (If you haven’t gathered and don’t know us, she’s a teacher and used to coach Field Hockey).

While I do ask her how I got so lucky (and she inevitably replies that she’s not so sure), it is great to have a partner in crime like her.  I was listening to a podcast and one of the hosts described marriage in a sense in that when you’re married, you don’t want someone telling you what to do, you don’t want to be their boss either.  You want someone that when you tell them you’re robbing a bank, they’re driving the getaway car. I’m so glad (and lucky) to have the best getaway car driver ever.  She truly is my best friend, my shrink, my spouse, my everything.  I say this a lot, but I don’t know where I’d be without her.

And because I know she’s reading this too, happy anniversary babe! (I said it first, even if it’s in writing and you will probably see if after you say it to me, I still win! 😛

This post is so gay

I’ll be upfront and honest.  I support gay rights.  I’m “pro-gay” if you will.  I’m straight, and a (somewhat) practicing Catholic.  I believe that God loves everyone, regardless of your sexual preference.  But I do believe that people who are gay should have the right to marry.  I believe that it’s a basic human right and shouldn’t be voted on.

Why?  The answer is simple.  Gays should suffer just like the rest of us.  Look, I love my wife and she loves me.  But show me one married couple that hasn’t said to themselves (or someone else) “What in the !@#$%is WRONG with HIM/HER?”  My wife drives me crazy, and I drive her crazy.  But we took a vow in front of God and our family and friends that said we’d stick together throughout the good times and the bad times and if we separate, then we have to go through a long painful process that now is even MORE complicated due to our daughter.  Why should straight people only go through a process where if someone makes a ton of money while they’re together, their spouse entitled to half of that.  A good friend of mine and his wife divorced within the past year.  He’s in the army and she is not anymore, so he gave her custody of her two children.  Despite the fact that he is an active member of the Army and has been deployed multiple times for his country, because she has the kids, she is entitled to over half of his salary which isn’t much as it is.  I understand she has to take care of them and provide for them, don’t get me wrong, but she took him to the cleaners.  Why should straight people have the exclusive right to go through this heart wrenching decision?

At the same time, gay people deserve to be happy too.  I am very happy with my wife and together with our daughter we have a lot of laughs.  We had a lot of laughs before our daughter was born too.  Why can’t gays share this joy?  Because they are attracted to people of the same sex (or both sexes for those that are bi)? Baloney.

I’ve heard the argument that homosexuality “is a choice.”  I just don’t buy it.  Why?  I look at it from a couple of angles:  1) I am attracted to women.  I chose to date my wife, I chose to ask her to marry me, and I chose to go through with my proposal (literally).  I don’t think I have it in me to look at another man and say “wow.  He’s really hot.  I could see myself dating him.”  2) There are some that say that “God has a plan” and whatever happens in your life, it is because God wants it that way.  OK, fair enough.  So with gays, did God just forget about them, or are we not counting them?  Why can’t it be that God chose those two men, or two women to be together?

Remember, God loves you – but only if you’re straight!